he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
