I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Someone shattered a urinal.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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