I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize