But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
