you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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