OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
