drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Still dying that you shit outside
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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