Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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