im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
