Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
