I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
