I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
