Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
