Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize