i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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