Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
