we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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