Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
