I can text with my tongue
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize