Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to be your penis for a week.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
