Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
