oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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