we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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