where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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