They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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