Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize