talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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