I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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