Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
