do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
