I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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