Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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