youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
