Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
