let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
