I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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