yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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