so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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