This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize