a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
