O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
