we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
