I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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