I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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