just tell him i said nine months
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
