babies were throwing up all over the place
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize