I hate your face
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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