ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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