No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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