in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
