i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize