p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your penis caused this!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
