Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize