i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
