What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
