I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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