so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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