So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
