She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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