if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize