if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
