Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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