I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
