Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
